12/25

Merry Christmas to my fellow readers! Tis the season to remember everything that has been done for us and to appreciate those who continue to be with us everyday. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the gifts and materialist view of Christmas so today just step back and look at everything that truly matters. Last Christmas my family wasn’t in the best financial state due to the recession  but this year we are completely back on our feet and I am beyond grateful for that. Today I thank God for everything he has done for me and continues to do for me everyday. Without you I am nothing. I hope everybody has a blessed day and enjoys this time with their family. 

Happy Holidays ! 

B. 

Flatline

It's not fair that you consume my mind 

Leaving my ability to think about anyone else behind 

Neglecting common sense, you're leaving me blind 

& every other man that comes around, always gets declined 

I just want to go back, rewind 

Go back to the days when my heart wasn't so confined. 

But catering to my man is how my heart is designed 

But you're not my man at all, you said you're not the kind 

Just someone whose heart I can't seem to find. 

Couple of forevers.

How do I make you fall in love with me ?

Do I need long hair, a big ass, & is it sex that I need to guarantee ?

Do I have to compromise myself

Just to make sure you're not looking at anyone else ?

Or do I have to completely surrender 

So my independence I'll no longer remember ? 

How do I make you fall in love with me & not just what you see ? 

If I wore sweat pants w/ my hair tied would you look at me the same ?

Or do I have to wear the things that would make my family ashamed ?

I wanna make you fall in love with me because I know everything that we could be 

& I know your satisfaction will always be guaranteed 

But I don't want to untie the ties that hold me together 

I'm just tryna be a couple of forevers. 

All over the place

I’ve been trying to write something for yall for a couple weeks now

But to get my thoughts to come across in words, I forgot how.

So what’s been up with me?

I’m just busy being that girl that nobody wants to be

Trying to get the attention from him

Without doing things that would make me sin

I can’t even front and say there’s only one

I’ve only been single for some months,

I’m just tryna have some fun

But when it comes to us

There’s some things that I want to discuss

Do we have a future in tomorrow

Or are all my dreams just borrowed?

When I lay my head on your chest,

Do you think that we connect?

And when our lips meet

Does it make you want to fall to your feet?

I wish it was a name I could drop

But I honestly don’t even know who I’m talking about

You or you?

I promise soon, I'll figure out who.

My thoughts have been all over the place

And it’s my words that can’t seem to find their place.

If there was something on my mind,

I used to be able to write like there was no time

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me

But I hope I can bounce back because this has never been ....

B.

My Rights

I deserve to be your main priority not an option

I deserve loyalty

I deserve a dozen roses

I deserve to be thought of

I deserve nothing but the best

I deserved to be loved

I deserve to be respected by you cos I'll always respect you

I deserve to be spoiled for all the things I'll do for you

I deserve all your attention because mine will never stray

I deserve your compliments

I deserve to be picked up if I fall down

I deserve to be loved

I deserve patience because I'm not perfect

I deserve to be shown off to the world

I deserve to be kissed 

I deserve to love without the fear of getting hurt

I deserve your world because I'm willing to give you mine

I deserve to be loved because I promise to love you back with every aspect of my being

B. 

Side Bitch Antics

he doesn’t spend time with you

y’all are never seen in public together

he only hits your phone Friday-Sunday

you tweet him and he texts back

he only comes over after 12am

you’ve never seen where he lives

the only place y’all have been too is a drive thru

he doesn’t kiss you unless he trying to have sex with you

you don’t know his friends

you’re relationship tends to be only physical

you ask him about the future and he says “Idek what ima wear tomorrow”

he constantly tells you things that he’s already told you

he walks past you in public and then texts you and asks “where are you?”

he gives you the best friend title

he doesn’t care if you talk about the other boys you talk too

his favorite line is "I'm chillin"

Know your place 

B.

Is It Yours?

Never get attached to what’s not rightfully yours. If boundaries haven’t been established, NEVER assume that you are the only one. Y’all text all day and all night? That’s cute. He’s calling someone else too. You spend all day with him? He’s probably spending the night with another girl. Until you have that conversation, this is the mentality you need to keep. Never make him the only one if you’re not the only one in his life. Don’t make sacrifices if he’s not making the same for you. Don’t become a side piece that he only has time for when his main girl is busy. Don’t give him your relationship privileges while he’s giving someone else his.  And BEYOND all, stand for your morals. You may like him but you compromise everything you want to be when you give him exactly what he wants. You have to be honest with yourself. Sometimes we hurt ourselves by not realizing all the signs that are in front of us.

We've all been through this at one point and time. You like someone then you start imagining everything that you two could be. You put in all this time and energy into trying to make him fall for you. You get mad when you see him with other girls (but you know not to say anything). You do things out of the ordinary for him. You treat him like he’s already yours. And in the end, it’s you that feels like you lost something. You feel like you lost apart of you that was never really there. You miss someone you never had to begin with. The hurt, pain, and insecurities can all be avoided. You just have to know what’s rightfully yours and what’s not. 

B.

Thoughts

Being in love is a powerful feeling. It takes over your mind, your body, and your spirit. All of a sudden all they're all you think about, all you feign for, and you smile at the very thought of them. & when you look at each other, you can’t help but smile. Falling in love doesn't happen overnight. To fall in love with someone you learn to love everything about them, even the things you hate. It’s a process; you grow to be best friends. You’re there for each other but not because it’s expected but because you want to be. When they’re hurt, you feel every ounce of pain that they’re feeling. There’s a difference between loving someone and wanting to never leave someone. When you’re in love you don’t see a life without them, you can’t picture life without them by your side. Don’t mistake being in love for having love. Everyone wants to be in love but they don’t realize that you can’t fall in love with every person that comes into your life. Yes, everything happens for a reason but love doesn't change like the seasons. 

B.

Miss On Her Own

Independence is a powerful quality in a woman. It proves that she doesn't need you or anybody else to get to where she wants to be. Independence is also a quality most women lack. They feel the need for male attention and approval. Women like this don’t understand that we hold all the power. We create the forthcoming generations. We provide and make-up the family. Without us, where would our male counterparts be? Independence is demanding. We need to learn that we cannot hold a man down if we cannot hold ourselves up. We need to be happy with ourselves before we can even imagine making another happy. Independence is sexy. Don’t do it for him, do it for yourself. Do it because you have never looked so good alone. Independence is strong. Never do we need another to justify our purpose. We know what we have to do and we won’t stop until it’s done. Independence is gold. Never let a man help you off your throne.

B.

Name Drop

It all started with C

I loved him and he loved me

But we were only in 7^th grade, we had no idea what our love could be.

Then came S

Our love was always like a test

We would always break up and make up

But from you I learned to never give up

I knew we were going too self-destruct

And over the years we’ve tried to reconstruct

But oddly it was a friendship we developed

What can I say about K?

In your mind, it was you I needed to obey

In public it was love that was always on display

But behind closed doors we seemed to go astray

In the end you started to betray

So I decided not to stay

Don’t get me started on T

All my friends tried to get me to see

That me and he were never meant to be

I was so happy to be his “she”

That I never could see that all he was doing was hurting me

But I broke free and now it’s you that wants thee

To a degree, I still find myself going back and forth with D

You were the one that got down on one knee

You wanted to marry me when I was only 19

If my heart had a lock, it was you that held the key

But you hurt me when we were almost at year number three

So now I’m free

See there are boys that try to connect

But none of them have stepped correct

They all reflect images of my past

And those are all ACTORS that I would never recast

I’m learning that if you force love it will never be

Love is a beautiful feeling that happens spontaneously

I devote myself to love with every part of me

Truthfully, I’ve never loved love more because it’s just

Me, myself & B.

 I have been through the worst of break-ups. But every break-up makes every hello that much more meaningful. It’s safe to say that I’ve finally said hello to myself and that I’m focused on doing what makes me happy. No more do I have time to compete with other girls or settle for less than what I deserve. I’ll be 20 soon and I’m too busy building an empire. If you don’t hear what I’m saying you and me will never be. 

B.

Dear Cally

My first love. 
We always hear about these things happening but never close to home. Although I cant claim credit for being there because it's been 7 years since I've even heard your voice. But this pain still hits close to home. You taught me how to care and how to love selflessly. You shaped the way I'll love someone for the rest of my life without even knowing it. My first kiss. I'll never forget that day. We were in your living room and you asked if I was ready. I shrugged my shoulders as the shy girl I am. Then your lips touched mine. I was thinking about your lips for the rest of that year. I looked up to you. I just wanted your attention. Your love. Your affection. You went away too soon. You went before I could even appreciate everything you meant to me. I really just want to say thank-you; you're a reason why I am who I am today. It's crazy how young were were. Stressing and having real ass arguments. lol. I never thought I would see you again. But I wish it didn't take you leaving this earth for me to realize that I owed you this. Sleep in peace baby, until we meet again.

B.

Let me prove it to you

I want you to notice me

I want to be the girl that changes you

That makes you want to become a better you

In other words I just want to better you

To be the one that can take care of you

From the first day I saw you

I saw me loving you

I saw me on top of you

Putting it down like you know I can do

But I don’t want it to seem like I’m rushing you

I respect your space and everything else that comes with you

Like those other girls that want you

They might have been there first but they don’t look as good as me and you

So tell me, what I gotta do to prove to you

I’m not like all those other girls that be on you

I wanna make this promise to you

If you ever give me the chance to love you

I promise to give the whole world to you

B.

Listen Up Boys

A lot of you guys know (if you keep up with my blog) that I just recently transferred too Bowling Green State University. Harford Community College, Indiana University of Pennsylvania, & Stevenson University do not even compare too BGSU! I’m not going to go into specifics but I can finally say I’m DONE transferring. Throughout my first year of college I was in a relationship, as many of you know. But I realized no matter what school you’re at or what state you’re in, BOYS ARE THE SAME.

I’ve wanted to do this post for a while but didn’t really know how I wanted to approach this problem, because it is a problem none the less. I am the perfect example of ‘single & not looking’. Not that I don’t have friends but I am in no way, shape, or form looking for a relationship; but that never stops the male species from trying. The problem that I’m having with the average college-aged male is that they honestly don’t know how to speak to a female. So I’m going to teach you fellas. Consider this your first lesson in modern day feminism.

11.      When you see a girl you’re interested in DO NOT STARE AT HER. You come off very creepy and staring at her gets you nowhere.

22.      Try to refrain from coming up to her while she’s standing with a group of friends. Her friends influence her & let’s be real, most girls show off in front of her friends.

33.      Catch her while she’s alone & ask her how she’s doing or how her day has been. Girls LOVE when a dude is interested in her. Don’t get excited right away & ask for her number. The goal is to leave her wanting you to ask for her number.

44.       It’s okay to ask if she has a boyfriend. Just tell her you don’t want too disrespect her relationship. If she has a boyfriend, DO NOT call her him a lame or insult him in any other way!!!

55.       Have a conversation. I’m not saying a 20 minute conversation, but take 5 or 7 minutes to get to know her. Girls love boys that can hold a conversation without it being awkward.

66.       Go in for the kill & get her number. If she’s not interested in you, DO NOT be salty & start insulting her. Just say “it was nice to meet you anyway.”

77.       Text her the NEXT morning. Don’t be thirsty & start texting her right away. Unattractive.

88.       When it comes to meeting up, STEP YOUR GAME UP. DO NOT say “so when you coming over?” “When we gonna chill?” or “Can I come over?” Take her out! & I’m not saying take her on an expensive date; we’re all in college & broke. Take her on a walk, offer too cook, go to the movies, or too a diner. The more you talk face to face & not over text, the better.

99.       BE YOURSELF. Too many boys have stepped to me trying to act like someone I know they’re not. Most boys try to flash their money (When they really don’t have any), their car (when it’s really their dads), & for some odd reason boys try to party 24/7 like that’s something girls like. (If you party 24/7, you’re in college for the wrong reason.) Let’s be real; money, cars, & clothes only attract basic bitches. Most girls that have their own aren’t worried about how much you have of something. She’ll know how to figure that out without your help.

110.   Last but certainly not least BE REAL. When a girl finds out you lie about little shit, respect disappears. If you have a girlfriend, let her know! If you’re talking too other people, let her know! If you are or are not looking for a relationship, let her know! & if you’re not really feeling her like that, let her the fuck know!

Don’t be basic & be like just the rest. Most boys have “girl problems” because they’re not real with her or themselves. Not all girls are perfect. Some don’t have class or don’t know how to act in certain situations. So yes girls are capable of fucking a good thing up (lord knows I have) but you should always play YOUR role & play it to the best of your ability. Conduct yourself like a gentleman & the girls will come to you.

B.

  

Question Existing

Who I am living for

That's the question that trails my mind

But furthermore I want too know who defines & outlines

The reason for my being

We were all put here for a reason but that's never guaranteeing 

that we'll fulfill our purpose for being here

There are times when I want too disappear

But I got people in my ear telling me a blessing will soon appear

At this age, you can only go up

You can fuck up, screw up, wake up, & come up all in one day

But I pray that I never betray or dismay those who've paved the way

So I can be all I can be today.

So I guess the question that stayed on my mind

has now been redefined

Because everyday I grind to remind me

That nobody in my reality got me, 

like me & the man that's above me. 

B. 

Goodbye Summer

This summer was nothing how I planned or expected to be. In the beginning, I was content being home & waking up to my man every morning, but now I'm truly happy in Ohio with my momma & feeling more independent everyday! As I say goodbye to these summer days, I reflect on everything I've been through these past couple months & I can't believe I made it. I more than made it, I overcame things that would hold other back. I was down for a little but I picked myself right back up. I'm beyond grateful for all my REAL friends & all the support they have given me. You never know who is truly there for you until you are down & out. 

But with all that said, I can't wait to walk into class tomorrow afternoon & get my focus back! I am elated that this summer is coming to an end & college life is picking back up! I've learned so many lessons this summer but the most important lesson was to never sell my self short. The sky is the limit for my future & the things that I can achieve. Accepting mediocrity is not an option and will not be accepted in my life anymore. I will do whatever it takes to reach my goals & die trying. 

To all those going through a hard time out there, I feel for you & I promise you things will get better. Keep your faith & keep your head up. A come up will come your way. 

B. 

Welcome Back!

It's that time of the year again !

Time for overly priced books, new dorm bed sets, new & old friends, new teachers, & so much more! I assume most of my readers are college students so let me be the first to wish you a good luck on this academic year! College is full of opportunities that are just waiting to be taken advantage of so don't spend the whole semester at parties and in your bed. Here are a few tips on how to make you the most well-rounded college student there is.

1. The first thing you should do when you arrive on campus is find friends! You will find people of every shape, color, age, & background!

2. Join a club! You will meet so many people with the same interests as you! Joining a club gives you something positive to do & you'll be able to include it on your resume.

3. STUDY & GET THE GRADES! We can't forget the point of going to college. I know studying is a hard concept for most to comprehend but if you come up with a schedule & routine for yourself, it'll get easier. If you don't get good grades, college will become pointless and a waste of money. (P.S. Studying with your friends never works!)

4. Do something active ! Bowling Green State University will be my third university & only one required a gym credit. Making sure you stay active & exercise is something most kids our age seems to forget when we get to college. (Freshman 15) Almost all colleges offer intramural sports & they don't require any experience or for you to actually be good at it.

5. Don't be bed written! Go to football games, basketball games, lacrosse games & other cheesy campus events. Having school spirit, believe it or not, is a big part of enjoying college. When you believe in your school, you'll develop a sense of respect & pride for you school.

6. Last but NOT least, don't make a fool of yourself by partying too much. Condone yourself and have respect for yourself. No one likes someone who does too much when they go out because at the end of the night, it's your friends that will have to babysit you & that gets old, real fast!

If high school was the best four years of your life, you indeed did something wrong. Just kidding, kind of. But college should no doubt be the best time of your life. Don't be like someone I know & stay in your room on the phone with you boyfriend your whole first year of school. (Me) You live & you learn, so this year, I'll no doubt be following all of my tips to every extent. A very important Come Up!

Party hard, but study harder!
Best of luck,

B.

Lately

Lately I've been having writers block
Most of my material comes from my emotions & now it's like my heart is in shock
See my hearts been broken & it felt like there was no coming back
But surprisingly my heart is making its own comeback
I've been smiling a lot & I think it's because of you
Its the way you stay true and the other amazing things you do
Would you believe me if I said I was in love?
You saw me at my worst & told me soon enough I'll rise above
I'm just so grateful that finally someone loves me unconditionally
& I love the fact that her name is me.

 

B.

Politics of Love

Let's not make any mistakes Anyone can be fake
Women are capable of the same and a lot of them have no shame
They can play love likes it's a game & frame these lames so we all think player is their first name
But I came to realize its all out of spite
You hurt her then she hurts him because it gives her an insight ..
to the power she now has
Holding someone's heart in her hand likes she's holding glass
Then she drops him on his ass and says it's all in the past
It's a cycle we've all fell victim too
I guess its just the "politics of love, or lacking there of

B.

Rise Above

This is something I posted on my Instagram when I first moved to Ohio. It's only 5 words but it sums up my attitude. I just went through a really bad break up but I refuse to let that stop me. Your life only stops when you allow it too. It stops when you stress and get upset over the things you can't change; kinda like not crying over spilled milk. I refuse to be anything but successful in this life, so I have to use the 24 hours I'm given each day to my advantage. If you want to be happy, LET GO of the things that make up upset & EMBRACE the things that make you happy. Writing makes me happy, so I started this blog. Money makes me happy, so I got ANOTHER job. My friends make me happy, so I'm making sure with every chance I get, I tell them I love them. Hardships are apart of life. So give yourself one day to cry but make sure you come back ten times stronger. There's a blessing in every lesson & I thank god for the lesson he taught me. I WILL NOT BE STOPPED. 

B. 

Ms. Tameera Lynn Turner

So every week (I'm not committing to a day), I'm gonna feature a girl who has natural hair & all it's beauty. The first girl I'm featuring is a very close friend of mine and I want to die with envy whenever I see her hair. Tameera is a 19 year old from Harford County, MD. She is currently studying Biology at Harford Community College before she heads to The University of Maryland next fall. Come up !

Tameera has been natural her whole life. & for those of you who aren't familiar with being natural, it's not having any chemical products in your hair. Her hair being so thick and full, probably contributes to her different nationalities; which are African American, Indian, German, & Italian. But her length also contributes too how well she takes care of her natural hair. 

Tameera's favorite products are:

• Paul Mitchell: The Conditioner, which is a leave in conditioner that Tameera says eliminates frizz on hot days.
• Tui Hair Oil: She heats it up and dips the ends of her hair.
• Hair Milk: extra nourishment that she adds to her hair washing routine. 
• Shea Moisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie: She uses this if she doesn't use The Conditioner. It also helps her eliminate frizz. 
• Curls Unleashed Curl Defining Creme. Tameera only uses this to create a certain style but says its great for dry hair. 

Since shampoo has been proven to be deadly by the natural hair community, Tameera washes her hair with Herbal Oil, Tea Tree Oil, Olive Oil, Wen Sweet Almond Mint, Tresemme Naturals, & Wen Lavendar. She does this process every three days while curly. Other leave-ins that she uses when she wants to switch things up are: Creme of Natures Argan Oil strength and shine leave in conditioner, Hawaiian Silky Miracle Worker, Dark & Lovely's Moisture Leave in Treatment & Wen's Leave On: Sweet Almond Mint. 

Having natural hair and retaining length is not easy but she has it down! I've honestly never her hair frizzy, dry, or a mess lol. If you're transitioning to natural or already natural, Tameera is definitely the perfect natural hair crush! Thanks for being my first naturalista! 

Follow her Instagram: tosadurant_

B.

Wynton Borders x Don't Lie

This is the infamous Wynton Borders with one of his singles from his mixtape, "The Wynton Borders Project" & also an artist under Bugatti Management. When you listen to his music, you fall in love with his voice and believe in his words. His style of music will make you think of the rapper Common; someone who raps about something other than drugs, sex, and money. More material from Wynton will definitely be posted in the future so be on the look out for his next come up.

B.

Dreams !

Bugatti Management 

Bugatti Management is Scotty & I's baby. (Check his blog out: scottybsworld.blogspot.com) Our goal is to showcase local talent and try to get them to the next level. With that being said, we wrote a reality TV script and registered it to send to producers and TV networks. We never thought that they would actually like our concept, ideas, and or goals. But a producer in LA wants to meet with us! I'm not gonna say much more about this but I'm BEYOND grateful for just the opportunity to sit down and talk about our company & concept to people who believe in it. If this isn't a come up, I don't know what is! 

B.

Forever Untitled

This goes out to my ladies
The ride or die, fight for your man type of girl
You see I've been there
Arguing with every random girl
Except the nigga that invited them
Holding my man down & up
When he didn't even deserve my hand to hold
But ladies we have to do better
We have to understand our worth
Because if we don't, no man will
We have to love our self first
Because if we don't, we can never expect another too
But everything I'm saying us girls already know
.....We've heard it all before
But it's a harsh reality when the man you love becomes the man she loves
& when he becomes that boy that's not loyal
we have to become that woman who can rise above
We can do bad all by ourselves
But we can do better if we know better.

My love for free verse poetry ..

B.

Reese is the design genius that created my layout. Without her, I don't know if this blog would have came into existence; she is truly an inspiration to me & I'm beyond thankful to have a friend like her in my life. Reese is definitely on the come up so she's someone you need to watch out for. Her first stop: interning at Girls Life Magazine! Follow her blog: yourbrokebestfriend.com

I love you Reesy ! Thanks again. 

B.   

Uhm ..

So my friend and business partner (more to come about our business) Scotty B. from @scottybsworld.blogspot.com (check him out) just recently posted this video from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star Joseline Hernandez. I watched this video and the whole time I'm thinking "this is a hot ass mess!" First of all, I understand the showing your pride for your country but she has on basic bitch outfit number one with all the flags. Second, at the end of the video she's holding a little girls hand while walking through the street. The little girl is so adorable but Joseline, put some clothes on first before you start playing with the kids. And lastly, Joseline, don't think we didn't notice that "STEBBIE" tattoo on your arm. No, you're not making a come up from this.

B.

MAC's Chatterbox

This is me wearing MAC's Chatterbox amplified color lipstick. I bought it about two days ago and fell in love! Me being a brown skin African American, I never really indulged in the bright colored lipstick trend. I was never into the whole Nicki Minaj "barbie" look. To my surprise, this color didn't make me look like another Nicki follower at all. The lipstick texture is very smooth and moisturizing. Your lips don't feel dry during or after you wear this color. For me this isn't an everyday color; just something for date night or going out with my girls. But if you have a lighter complexion then me, than you could get away with wearing this everyday without anyone looking twice. For the price of $15.00 and kissable pink lips, I'd say I made a come up!

(& ignore that black dress that I'm getting sick of, I had an interview.)

B. 

This is dedicated too ..

See baby, you will never understand

I love you for who you are but right now I have to take a stand

You fuss with me constantly claiming it's all out of love

But honestly your selfish ways I'm really getting sick of

I have to learn to put me first

Because being that ride or die chick only has me hurt

Breaking up with me every night

And then ending every night in a fight

Why are you always tryna prove your rights?

Do you ever stop to think about mine?

Because to be honest bfore you I was doing just fine

I swear I always tell myself I'm just too good for this nigga

Should I be wasting my time and energy on this nigga?

And why do you have to act so insecure?

Every time I get attention, I always have to reassure

Why can't you understand that you got me

I only want you and you're the only one who doesn't see

It's been over two years with you

I just wanna focus on us and my future with you

But you keep giving me every reason to tell you I'm through with you 

Our love was supposed to be forever

Be there for each other whenever

But you keep hurting me

And sorry is what I refuse to be

Baby we just ain't what we used to be

Almost a year ago I wrote this in reflection too a situation one of my friends was going through. I didn't know then, that one day I could fully relate to my own words. But I'm in a different place now. I found happiness and peace within myself; what's a better come up?

B. 

The Beginning

The Come Up is my start to my new life. I'm investing a lot of time in myself, my school, and retail; the three things that make me happy. Myself, because these past couple months have not been easy so every time I smile, I know my sanity is back on the come up. School because school is my only way to make a come up in this life. And lastly, retail because every time you get that super sexy dress half-off, you have received the ultimate come up. So I invite you to join this new journey with me. It's my journey to independence, to wealth, & to success. I aspire to inspire, so I hope you can make a come up of your own as well. Ill talk to you guys soon. 

B.